Caitlin Kindred 0:22

Hi, friends. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Caitlin. Welcome to How to Be a Grown Up. This is the show for moms who need a grown-up more than ever right now. Excuse me that my throat is a little, a little raspy. Went out with some friends last night and had a really good time, and it was loud. So I had to talk loudly. I'm not sick. I'm fine. I promise. I'm sure y'all hear the little difference, but thanks for sticking with me. Today I want to

Welcome And Theme Set

Caitlin Kindred 0:49

talk about nonviolent civic engagement. So we've talked about managing the news, protecting your nervous system, picking a civic engagement lane. This is the okay, what does safe, non-scary action actually look like for me and my kid episode? So before I get into it though, I want to make sure you're subscribed to the show. Make sure you hit follow, hit subscribe, or whatever word your favorite podcast app uses

Defining Nonviolent Civic Engagement

Caitlin Kindred 1:15

to make sure that you don't miss episodes. Let's get to it. So I had to consult a number of resources today, and I'll make sure these are listed in the show notes. But some of my favorite ones from today were the Peace Resource Center of San Diego, the ACLU of Texas, Texas Publication Public Education Defense Fund, and a few other things that are pretty helpful here. And they're all going to be listed in the show notes and on the blog post for the episode today. So let's talk about what nonviolent civic engagement actually means. It is speaking up, organizing, and pressuring decision makers in ways that avoid physical harm, respect the laws, and still challenge injustice. This is Dr. King's legacy, right? And so many others. I don't want to just say that he was the only one, but this is the legacy of just sitting, making sure that your voice is being heard by not getting rough with other people, right? Nonviolence is both a strategy and a value you can practice with your kids, meaning how we talk, how we treat opponents, how we behave in public spaces, all of those are things that we can teach our children. And there are plenty of explicit curricula for practicing nonviolence with children, like the guide that is the one from the Peace Resource Center of San Diego. It's called the Introduction to Practicing Nonviolence with Children. And again, it's linked in the show notes, but there are lots of those available. You just have to do some searching. So I love this idea of nonviolence as a family value, right? So we're going to build a bridge between this idea of abstract nonviolence and daily parenting. Okay. Nonviolence includes how we speak about people we disagree with, how we show up at meetings and protests, and how we handle conflict at home, right? This is how we turn it into a parenting trick or not trick, but

Nonviolence As A Family Value

Caitlin Kindred 3:14

a parenting value, a parenting belief, right? And you can name it explicitly for your kids. You can say something like, our family believes in standing up for what's right without hurting people, even when we're really mad. Okay. This is that concept sort of echoes the child-focused nonviolence material that I've read, all of which emphasizes empathy and boundary and boundaries enforcing your boundaries in a peaceful manner and conflict resolution. So if we're thinking about these as house rules, you might already have these house rules for your family. For example, we don't call people trash even when we hate their policies. We can walk away, cool off, and come back later, or we use our words, our bodies, and our choices instead of violence, right? Like votes, money, time. That's what you're emphasizing there. And all of the nonviolence training materials that I saw encourage practicing these skills in everyday conflicts so that when something big comes up, your kids are ready. I do want to get into sort of what those might look like for you and your family. So here's some examples. We've got some callbacks here that I want to remind you of. So remember our capacity and spoons ideas, right? We talked about low spoons weeks, high spoons weeks, or you know, seasons of your life, right? If this is a low spoons week, you can still do real, nonviolent civic work from the couch with these options that I have here that are low risk, they're accessible, and they still model civic engagement. So we've talked about before letters and emails. Advocacy guides show that written comments to school boards and local officials actually do influence policy, especially when they come from parents. So those do work. And when you're

House Rules And Daily Practice

Caitlin Kindred 5:01

with kids, little ones can draw a picture or sign their name, and older kids can add in sentences like as a student, I want my library to have lots of different books. Phone calls work too. Many parent and advocacy groups and con, you know, resources to contact representatives give almost the exact, like simple script that I've already presented to you, your name, your district, a clear ask and a one-sentence reason. And with your kids, you can just let them hear you read the script on speaker and explain afterward what you did. We also talked about donations and mutual aid. These resources that I've presented emphasize that small recurring contributions of like money or diapers or food are a form of solidarity and nonviolent support. And with your kids, you can have them choose an item for the food pantry or a book for a drive, or even like one of my favorite things to do is you pick out the item, but you have the kids like drop off the item. Like you walk with them and they get to hold it. It's kind of like when your kid gets to push the elevator button, right? They feel involved, they feel important. Something that small can make a big difference for your child. You can also sign petitions and make public comments online. There are advocacy groups that encourage using official comment periods and surveys and petitions as nonviolent tools to influence local and state decisions. But just remember that none of these require a protest sign or childcare, and they all still count as nonviolent civic engagement. Okay, so we also have these bring your kid options, right? Last episode I talked about those three lanes of activism. So here are some safe and legal and family-friendly in-person engagement ideas. Again, nonviolent civic engagement ideas. Okay. We had schools, libraries, and mutual aid. Mutual aid. There we go. That's the word. So with schools, you can attend a school board or PTO meeting where decisions are being made. You can speak during public comment sections using respectful language, even when you strongly oppose a policy, which I know for some of us, like myself, is very difficult. And if your kids are coming along, you're going to frame the outing. You're just going to say, we're going to see how grown-ups make decisions about your school. And then you can give them a job, something easy. Count how many people are speaking. Draw a picture to give to a supportive teacher or a board member. And they can do that while they're next to you. If you're at a library, if your lane is libraries, you can attend library board meetings, especially when book challenges are on the agenda.

Low Spoons Actions From The Couch

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And you can be a part of inclusive story times. Pack that room. Show up for inclusive story times, author events, or pride-friendly programming, just quietly there to show support. Those numbers make a difference. With your kids, obviously, bring them along. Show up to Storytime or an event and talk afterward about why you chose that event. Why did we go see this person speaking at the library? Why did we participate? Well, here's why. With mutual aid, you can help with community drives or food distributions or supply drop-offs or pickups. I mentioned that person in my neighborhood who collects all the styrofoam for our neighborhood. It's that simple. With kids, let them help pack bags or draw cards or carry in that small donation. Of course, I have to say, be safe with all these things. You need to just be mindful of sticking to events organized by known groups, school districts, libraries, local organizations, and follow their safety instructions, especially if you're going to come with your kids. And definitely be mindful of basic safety in crowds. Like if you're at one of these events, staying together, listening to organizers, having a meetup spot, all those are really, really important. The other thing I want to say is look to nonviolence resources that help you prepare your kids for emotions that they might see from participants at these events. Remind your kids that your family doesn't respond with harm, but you know, help them process. Like, what do you do when you see someone who is ranting like a lunatic at one of these meetings, who is swearing, who is completely unhinged, because those people do show up. And how do you prepare your child for that? You know, that's a big deal. So speaking of those kinds of events, let's talk about high capacity, high spoons weeks. So if you want to protest or canvas, that would be two of the, you know, more well-known ways to go about nonviolent civic engagement. So if you're ready to do more, here's how to kind of keep it nonviolent and kid aware for yourself. When you're protesting, go with established and peaceful groups that have clear guidelines and marshals. Know your local laws about public assembly. Those, there are plenty of resources out there to help you learn what you can and cannot get away with. And with your kids there, you definitely want to decide ahead of time when you'll leave. Like maybe you leave it the first sign of escalation, where you're gonna go and who you're gonna be with. Right. And tell your kids one simple rule: if something doesn't feel safe, we leave. We can always help another way.

Letters, Calls, And Donations With Kids

Caitlin Kindred 10:18

If you're canvassing or talking to neighbors, this isn't my favorite to do with kids. However, it can be done. A lot of civic and mutual aid guides describe this sort of door knocking and neighborhood outreach methods as nonviolent tools that are kind of rooted in conversation and relationship. They're not really grounded in confrontation. You know, when those people do come to your door, they're not there to confront you about something. They're there to sort of build a relationship with you, right? So that is an option. And if you're gonna bring your kids, again, they can drop literature or they can say hi at doors if they're comfortable. They don't have to. And you don't have to bring your kids, just a reminder. But you're still gonna model listening and respect even when you come face to face with disagreement, because that probably will happen. And just remember that if any of this feels like too much in any given season of your life, it's okay to go back to those low spoons from the couch options, right? Those letter writing, the the listening to meetings, all those things are completely okay. It's all engagement. And you don't have to do everything. So much to do, right? So speaking of engagement, I'm gonna ask you to engage with this podcast episode in just kind of one simple way, right? Pick one from the couch action. Pick one bring your kid action that feels doable this month. Call that your nonviolent engagement plan for this season of your life. Your goal is not to raise these teeny tiny revolutionaries, right? You don't have to do that. And they'll be exhausted by fifth grade if you do. But you can raise little humans who know how to care for one another loudly and safely. And they can do that with one email, one meeting, one food drive snack, one coat for kids at a time, especially if they see you doing it. So, next, my plan is to kind of keep this idea going. And I'm thinking about some sort of media literacy direction next. I haven't totally decided. I've got a few topics in mind, but what would you like to see? Send me a text using the link in the show notes to share your ideas. Subscribe now so that you don't miss our next episode. I love you. I mean it. You can do hard things. Bye.