Welcome And Why You’re Here

Caitlin 0:23

Hey friends, I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to How to Be a Grown Up. This is the show for moms who are just trying to survive in the chaos that is the USA. Um, if you came in for my series all about civic engagement and you know handling yourself with how to not lose your mind on the news and you're still here. You've accidentally walked through a whole graduate level seminar and be a grown-up. And now it's time to figure out what happens next. But before we do that, I want to make sure you're subscribed to this show. So if you have not hit follow or subscribe, make sure you're doing that. Whatever word your podcast app has so that you can make sure you never miss an episode. Okay, let's talk about where we've been with all of this. So, again, we started with news, stress, and self-care. So we talked about doom scrolling and nervous system overload and how to not let the rest of the world live rent-free in your brain between traffic and school drop-offs and permission slips and work and all these other things. And then we

Recap Of The Advocacy Arc

Caitlin 1:40

pivoted to hyper-local civic engagement. So we talked about showing up at school boards, library boards, mutual aid drives, how to send emails and make calls and show up with your kids doing all these things, all in ways that were legal and safe and actually doable for you. Then I went into tools that would help you over the long term. So nonviolent communication skills, media literacy, digital citizenship. So talking about politics without yelling, how to help your kids spot misinformation. We did that with Ariella, how to behave online without becoming the trolls in the comment section. Basically, you've learned how to care about what's happening without burning out, how to show up without playing the hero or feeling like you have to play the hero, and how to talk to your kids about all this stuff without pretending that you have all the answers. Because none of us do, right? None of us do. So I want to have you self-diagnose your next season. Okay. I'm gonna ask you just to think about the following question. With your emotional capacity, are you feeling energized, curious, ready to learn more about school boards or parent groups, leadership roles? Or are you on the other end of that spectrum where you're emotionally

Civic Pull Versus Personal Pull

Caitlin 3:10

maxed out and just trying to keep your family and yourself from imploding? Are you feeling a more civic pull or a more personal pull? On the one side, are you being pulled towards wanting to know more about how decisions are made, how to show up, maybe even how to run for something? Or on the other side, are you wanting to focus more on your relationship with your partner, with your in-laws, your own children, your mental load instead of the world that exists on your phone? And think about your kids' vibes. How much politics talk can they actually handle right now? Are they soaking it in? Are they asking questions? Maybe they even want to join you? Or are they overwhelmed, anxious, just tuning out because there's too much going on anyway, or frankly, they're uninterested? There is no right answer to any of these questions. Just know that the grown-up part is noticing your lane instead of pretending you have the same bandwidth as everyone else. Or anyone else. For the next bunch of episodes, I am going to lean into that civic to personal lane. Um, that's where we're gonna take everything we've learned about values, boundaries, nonviolence, and apply it to your partnership, your co-parenting, your in-laws. And the most important relationship of all, of course, which is the one that you have with yourself

Next Series: Home, Boundaries, Energy

Caitlin 4:53

and your own energy. I'm thinking about doing a civic deep dive, sort of brainstorm some topics there, but that would mean I sort of get into things like how to prep for your first school board or library board meeting, how to step into parent leadership roles without it wrecking your family life, uh, maybe even what it feels like to think about running for something or actually running for something, um which, you know, that's a big challenge. And I've shared a lot of resources on parent leadership and family engagement in the blog posts for this series. Everything I've shared has emphasized that when parents feel capable and included, schools and communities function better. And that's really what we're all building toward anyway, right? So if you haven't already, please do go check out the blog post series that's all about advocacy. Um, it's on our website. You can just go to ckngk podcast.com/slash blog and you'll see the most recent posts all about this. But like I said, I'm gonna step into the civic to personal. So some of the ideas I have are co-parenting when your politics don't match your partners. I think that's becoming more rare these days, but there are some relationships that I'm seeing online where people are learning, oh, wait, my partner does not see things the way that I do at all, and that's causing some friction. Protecting your mental load when you care about the world and your own home. That's a lot. That's hard to do. Setting boundaries with family without burning bridges. A lot of us are okay right now with saying, you know what, these people don't protect my peace, so I'm gonna go no contact. But if that's not for you, you still need to be able to set boundaries and maintain relationships. Or here's one that's interesting: how to keep friendships alive when some people care more about politics than you do, or vice versa. Some friends only want to talk politics, and sometimes that's you. And how do we manage those relationships and protect our own peace? Just remember, you don't have to do all of it. And that goes for me too. I don't have to cover all these things. I just have to do enough to feel like I'm still me. You just have to do enough to feel like you're still you and you're not someone else's activist project, right? I do want to give you a teeny tiny homework, little homework. Before you finish this episode, I want you to pick one thing that you've learned in this whole advocacy arc that you want to keep doing. They can be tiny, right? Sending one email a month about something you care about to an organization that matters, that's influential in that particular

Tiny Homework And What’s Next

Caitlin 7:55

area. Area that's influential in that particular area. Why did I say area? Y'all. What about doing one quick family media literacy check-in during a family meeting? What about having one non-hostile conversation with a relative? I don't mean you have to wait for them to not be hostile. I mean practicing those nonviolent communication skills that we talked about and not letting it take away your peace and setting your own boundaries. Or if it it goes too far, repairing with your child so that they understand, you know, what the intent was and what you need to do to maintain peace. Or maybe it's, I don't know, setting one boundary around your news reading time or your group chat engagement so that it's not all about politics all the time for you. You've already done the hard work of showing up without the script. None of us have a script, right? I sit here and I give scripts out to people because it's what I need in order to be functional, but I'm practicing them over and over again. And even then, I forget them all the time because this is parenting. None of us have all the answers. That said, this next series of my podcast is gonna be about doing the hard work in a way that frankly doesn't kick your own ass. So, my next episode is gonna be about co parenting and boundaries in this political space we're in. Should be a doozy. Subscribe now so you don't miss it. Love you mean it. Make good choices. Bye.